I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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