please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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