PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
