Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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