Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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