If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Why are your pants in the freezer?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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