I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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