those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize