He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
