OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
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