everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
