omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
