It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
