Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.