This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter