Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize