How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
