Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize