she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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