I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize