a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
