I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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