I just saw a hot homeless man
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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