puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
