i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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