My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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