One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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