his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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