You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
