if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
