i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
