the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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