I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
