Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
