i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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