Yo dont text me then not text me
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
tell me about the eggs
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
