How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
