I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
