this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
