Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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