So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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