Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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