I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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