Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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