You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
