So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
