Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
