I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
