She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
