so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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