eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
