I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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