Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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