Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
