so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
