So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
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She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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