I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
