I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
