Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
