thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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