I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
