ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
