She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
